10.02.2009

Random Thoughts of Es.Take 4!

Blog Reader:...got nothing to blog about?

Es: Pretty much...

Blog Reader: I see...

Es: Enjoy my fuckery.

Ok so on this episode of Random Thoughts of Es, I'm just gonna type and type until I feel like stopping. It's the weekend, the world wide web sucks on weekends unless something big happened and even then it can be boring. So I'll just let you guys into my little brain for now. If this post doesn't make complete sense to you, it's not suppose to. It's my life, that I live. My thoughts that I think. Enjoy.

Well isn't Twitter dead today? Follow Fridays usually be on and poppin'! Twitterville is ghost town. What yall doing? Can't even tweet? Damn! ...My head hurts. It's been hurting a lot lately. Either I'm thinking too much or not thinking enough. Or it could be what I'm thinking about. ORRRRR it could be all this bleach I've been using to clean the house. Yeaaa, that's probably it.

-I need a freakin laptop! Like for real! I need a PC to drop right out of the sky into my hands. Ok, maybe not drop from the sky and stuff, but I just need a laptop of my own. Maybe drop from a window...just a suggestion. I've had a lot of computer access lately though. But there is barely anything to post on!...I'm trying not to curse so much. Didn't realize I had such a foul mouth until my mom watched-we won't talk about that. But I'm tryna clean up my act. I can't be all business and be cussing up a storm. Not a good look right?

...A lot of dope things happened lately. Erica got her "dream" job. Ivy League bitch!-there I go with the foulness again! She's off to NY to have an Empire State of Mind. I'm gonna be a hot mess with out her here. Probably get kicked out the house or something. lol God forbid. Ummm what else?...

I had my first hippie encounter. Make that first two hippie encounters. Yes, yes I met Rich Hil and Boo Bonic yesterday. They are(I'm about to cuss) the SHIT! I love'em! They were really happy to see me, which really surprised me because the last artist I did any kind of promo for and met in person...let's just say he was kinda an ass. But Rich and Bonic were just so grateful for what I've done for them and you know what, it almost bought me to tears. Because I've been doing this promo thing and blogging thing for a minute! Web years are more than actually years. Like 3 months blogging = 3 web years, okay? So I've been doing this "running the internet" thing for like *counts on fingers* 6-damn 6 yrs? That can't be right. *counts again* more like 5 yrs-you do the math. I'm like a veteran in the web game and I'm just getting started. Yea, I'm being cocky-let me have my moment. But anyways, I've done A LOT for various artists and really didn't get anything from it besides gaining experience in promotions and knowledge of the web. But from the actual artists? No concert tickets, no free merch, no shout outs-not saying I needed all of that to do what I did for them but not even a simple "Thank you!"? Like really? And the artists would barely communicate with me, just kinda leave me high and dry but when they needed more MySpace fans or to tell people about their new song-who do they come to? Moi. The only artist I did anything for before I started doing stuff for Rich that like appreciated my work, was Tyga. And for that I love and respect him.

It's funny cause Bonic asked me "Why you go so hard?" and I said some dumb answer (lol) but I came home and thought about it...and I asked myself"Why do I what I do for people?" You know, why do I go so hard?! Why do I set up street teams and fan clubs and blog in the wee hours of the morning and night in hopes to get at least one other person to listen to an artist's music? And basically, it really boils down to how I am as a person. I genuinely want to help people and see them succeed and get to the top. I probably work harder for others to get to the top than for myself. Many may see that as a flaw, I see that as an asset in a way.I don't know if "asset" is the proper word-you know what I mean. I just want to help everyone. Like why not? If I have the ability to help you with something, I'm gonna do my best to do so. I really hate to "half ass" shit and if I do, trust I beat myself up over it.

And than, I just have this absolute love for all things music. Music is literally my boyfriend...we're gonna get married, ya invites will come in the mail. But umm, I can't live with out music aka dope shit! So when you put my want to help others succeed and my love for music together-I go hard! Eww that sounded like a KY commercial..."And when the two combine..."-but yall know what I was tryna say. So I probably gave Bonic that bs answer (whatever I said lol) because I didn't want to give him the speech I just gave yall! lol I really love what I do, I just wish I could get more out of it...as in $$$$. But even though it doesn't make me some young mula...babyyyy-I still do it. It's like being married to a guy but he can't produce...like yall can't have kids. But you stay with him cause you truly love him, yea like that. The examples I be coming up with...smh. But I love it and I know eventually I'll get everything I need and more out of it...I can just be impatient at times. *Looks at pic* That Fafi pic is illy! But yea, back to last night! Rich and Bonic and Sickamore are probably some of the dopest people I have ever met! I could chill with them all day everyday. They had me and Erica cracking up. Yes, Erica was actually laughing, who would have known? lol But it was fun and the guys did a great job! Limos live is the shit! lol Sucks that I won't be able to make it out to the A3C fest tomorrow, but I'll try to see them again before they leave the A. And if you don't believe me that I actually went to the show and met them since people think I be lying (why do I need to lie?), just ask them. Erica was like "Ugh, you should have taken a pic with them! Where's my camera by the way?" She didn't think yall would believe me. *shrugs*

I got a call from this lady who is starting a modeling agency and needs some help. I would love to help her but there's no $$$ for me. The agency just started. I still might do it. Shooo, work experience is work experience. Gotta talk to la famila about it first and stuff.*walks away, eats dinner, washes dishes, returns* But yea, I wanna do it. Eventually she said we will get paid if we stay with the company.

I'm kinda at a point where I feel like everything in my life is so right yet so wrong. Ying yang type stuff. But I see the light at the end of the tunnel...I do. And every day, people tell me "Don't give up! You're gonna make it! You're gonna be great and successful!" And at first I was like "I won't give up! I will make it! I'm gonna be the best" and excited and stuff. Now I'm just numb to it...now offense to my motivators. It is what it is. But you know, every storm has it's beginning and it's end. Mine started, sooooo the next thing for it to do is for it to end! *smiles* It's gonna be a-o-k, I know. I can't wait to make cupcakes for my birthday. You know, I would have never guessed I would be where I am today in life turning 19. I always thought I would still go unnoticed and ignored. But now, people are actually getting to know and like Es. And that's dope! Damn its cold in Atlanta!

Well that's it for this episode. I hope you liked it and enjoyed it. Feel free to comment. I get like 3 comments a month on this blog! Yall need to give me some feedback! lol And shout out to you, the reader. Whether it's ya first time on my blog or 100th time, I thank you for even clicking whatever link you clicked to arrive on my blog. I'm so grateful for my readers. When I started this blog, I didn't think anyone would give a damn about what some girl in her purple room has to say about anything but I guess yall really do give a damn! Thanx a million! This long ass post should make up for my lack of blogging, you're welcome. lol Ghost....


Blog Reader: I enjoyed your fuckery.

Es: Cause I told you to.

Blog Reader: Excuse me?!

Es: *smiles*

'Always More, Never Less'-Es

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