It's like getting ya presents TAKEN AWAY on Christmas....

You know when you like open up ya mind and ya heart and maybe ya hands because you know that you're going to receive something really good? Like some really dope shit? Priceless shit? Well thats how I felt when I first heard Kid Cudi's "Embrace the Martian". It was the very first song I heard from him,-its how I heard of him. I heard it play on Society's(the clothing line) website. I was in love. I was like,"Yes! Yes! An artist who is singing(and rapping) about some real shit. Like this is how I feel. He understands me! Embrace the Martian bitches!" You know, all excited and shit. So after that, I was Kid Cudi Fan numero uno! I googled the heck out of him. Mixtape dropped, I listened to that shit on repeat for like 6 months straight. I knew every word to every song he made or was featured on. Kid Cudi was my hero! And I found out he was signed to G.O.O.D Music-craziness! He was like the artist that I've always dreamed of to come into the industry. Someone real and not ashamed to say how they really felt. Keep in mind, I felt this way with dude dropping only one mixtape. Months later, everybody and their mama knows about Cudi. Everyone tryna find the link to his mixtape, people quoting his lines in their Facebook status(which makes me so mad), people got 'Day N Nite" as their ringtone. People where asking me, Es the Biggest Music Head of the World, if I knew who Kid Cudi was. I couldn't even be like,"Really?". I was just like,"Wow! He did it!" And then this happens........

iam sorry March 16th, 2009

AFTER THE RELEASE OF MY FIRST LP THIS SUMMER, IAM NOT MAKING ANY MORE SOLO ALBUMS. IAM FALLIN BACK ON BEING A ARTIST. THE DRAMA THAT COMES WITH IT IS MORE OVERWHELMING THAN THE SHIT I WAS DEALING WIT WHEN I WAS PISS POOR BROKE. MY FRIENDS GET MAD AT ME, SAY IVE CHANGED, ONE OF THE ONLY HOMIES I GOT IN THIS GAME, WALE, IS WORRIED ABOUT ME CUZ OF SHIT HE HEARS. LIKE WTF? WHO CAN SAY IM BEIN HOLLYWOOD? IM NOT AROUND ANYONE BUT PLAIN PAT AND EMILE. WHO CAN SAY THAT SHIT? MUTHAFUCKAS TALKIN SHIT HERE AND THERE, SPREADIN RUMORS, MAKIN JOKES, TRYNA JUDGE ME, AND FOR WHAT? DOES MY MUSIC POKE FUN AT OTHERS? DO I TALK SHIT ABOUT PEOPLE N MY MUSIC? I ALREADY WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL ONCE, AND GOT EXPELLED CUZ IT WASNT FOR ME. IMA DROP OUT THIS SHIT BEFORE NIGGAZ TRY AND CRUCIFY ME.

What?.... can we say "wtf"? please? At first, I was just heartbroken (singing, 'How could you so Heartless!). I felt like Kid Cudi just broke up with me and we weren't even dating. Like I almost cried yall. I was just shocked. I got off the computer and went to class and was still thinking about it. I was soooooo sad. You know what, a tear actually come out of my eye, real talk. But then, I went back to the computer and read the post one more time.....and this part stood out to me....

I DONT LOOK AT IT AS QUITTING, FOR I HAVE ALREADY ACCOMPLISHED MY GOAL. I HAVE A SOLID FANBASE WHO TRUELY APPRECIATES ME AND MY MESSAGES THRU SONG, I GOT MULTIPLE BIG RECORDS, I HAVE RECIEVED WORLDWIDE CRITICAL ACCLAIM FROM THE BIGGEST TASTEMAKERS IN THE GAME, 3 FAN MADE BEST OF MIXTAPES WITHOUT EVEN RELEASING MORE THAN ONE MIXTAPE AND NOT EVEN RELEASING A ALBUM, I CAN PAY MY MOMS MORTGAGE AND HELP MY SISTER WITH MY NIECE AND HOLD MY BROTHERS DOWN WITH WUTEVER THEY NEED. THATS WUT I GOT IN THIS GAME FOR, TO ACCOMPLISH ALL THESE GOALS AND I HAVE. NO REGRETS

Again-What? You accomplished ya goal(s)? Making music isn't just about getting props and money to pay for things! As a matter of fact, it isn't about those things at all. Great music was being made before all of that. And no, I am not taking what he said out of context-look at the damn paragraph! Like really, Cudi? That was it? No inspiring people? Uplifting people? Changing the game? Bringing something new? Leading the new wave of Hip hop?-none of that? Just fame and fortune? I am truly and deeply hurt. Am I crazy for taking this too personal-no. If you take the time to read my Blogger profile I clearly state that "Music is my water....". I need music to survive. So when I fall in love with someone's music and I feel that it has changed my life and help me cop with everyday life, I kinda want to know that the people behind the music feel the same way and are not abusing the art. Cause yall know Music is an art and not a business, even if you do get money from it, right? So by this now, I was pissed! I was heated! I felt like flying out to wherever he was and cussing him out! And he goes on to say....

I KNO U GUYS WILL ALL HATE ME, BUT REMEMBER, IM JUS A REGULAR DUDE WHO WAS GIVEN A AMAZING GIFT, AND NOW WITH THAT AMAZING GIFT CAME MORE UNCALLED FOR PROBLEMS THAN THE AVERAGE HUMAN BEING SHOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH.

Um, duhhhhhhh! Why shouldn't we hate you now? We know how it is to be average, you dont see us in the lime light! But just because we aint famous doesn't mean we dont understand what ya going through. We as people of just the real world, because you celebs live a double life whether you want to believe it or not (will explain later), go through more bullshit then yall do! We gotta worry about people talking about us, misunderstanding us, using us-like yall and at the same time, put food on the table, go to school, have clothes on our backs, pay bills-yall still got all that taken care of! You will still have ya big houses and luxury cars and get to go to the club whenever you want and etc, etc! Don't try to act like we don't know how it feels to go through some bullshit-we do this shit every damn day! So that last quoted part is bullshit to me just as a regular girl in the world and not even as a music head or Cudi fan. And how can you be so regular with an " amazing gift"? If you got an amazing gift, ya not regular!

I just feel like, as a person trying to get into this industry, many people take their positions in the industry for granted. Some of the weakest people in the world, are in this industry. They complain and cry over shit that everyday people would laugh at and keep it moving. I feel like the more time you have to struggle and get yourself into the industry, the more strength you will have once ya in it. And the time varies for everyone, keep that in mind! For people like me, shit like this would make them say," Fuck it, I don't want to be in this industry. Full of people who don't even give a damn about it and who aren't in it for the right reasons!" But I wanna go about it differently. Shit like this makes me say, " I want to be in the industry THAT much more!" I wanna prove to people that there are people who can be in this industry and not be broken by the bullshit that usually comes right along with it. Cause I honestly believe that it can not be that hard to do something you love so much. If you really, really, really, love what you are doing, nothing or no one and make you stop doing it. And you know, if ya gonna do it just for the fame and fortune, just let us know at first. Be honest about you being honest in ya music. Wanye named his whole record label, Young Money-now we know them dudes tryna get money! They was real with us from the jump! We can't act surprised when they talk about money now can we?

And you know what, Cudi is quitting. He's not just quitting on himself, he's quitting on us, the fans and everyone else who believed in his greatness. Ya playing us Cudi, for real! And my sis was like," Esther, he's not really quitting! He's just playing! Its a pubilicity stunt!" Well i hope to God it is but if it is, it is a very,very,very stupid one. I could have thought of a better way to promote the album. I already get annoyed when artists period do shit like this but for it to be an artist that i truly love and believe in and want to see become a legend, I can't help but to say the things I say and think the things that I am thinking. The artists that we need to quit keep dropping albums *cough*50*cough* keep dropping them! And artists we need to stay and keep real, good, classic, and quality music alive and well are quitting! What kind of shit is this?

So if I had to say anything to Cudi or if he just so happens to read this cause he's a "regular dude", i would say....Thank you for giving us such an amazing gift at a time when we needed it the most. Thank You for making me be proud of who I am and not let anyone else bring me down. Whether you believe it or not, your music really did change my life and help me in so many ways. But since we're being honest here, this shit sucks. Its hurts me to read the post and to see some of things that you said. I can't help but to question if you really wanted to inspire people or make them believe and dream again. Was any of this for real or was it just a big joke to you? Now you talk about just acting and I find myself wondering,"Does this dude even like making music?" A shame, I know. But since you pretty much made up ya mind and not even an inspired fan who wants you to stay forever can change ya mind, then good luck and God Bless. But, if you do change ya mind, i'll be here with my stero waiting....

Love,
Es

'Always More, Never Less'-Es